What is self-care for me? This is a question I have really been thinking about this week. I find for some people it is wine and a bath, or drinks and a movie. This can be a form of self-care, I can't speak for anyone else, but for me - I find it wears me out rather than recharges me.Took me awhile to realize this.
I read an amazing article on self-care that I will post below. But it brought to the surface what I wasn't quite able to put into words. Self-care isn't always chocolate cakes, drinking, sleeping, watching tv - sometimes it is looking at the ugliest thing I need to do, and doing it.. It can be clearing out areas of my physical environment so I can be more organized, it can be cutting toxic people from my life, it can be digging those heels in deep and making it through another gruelling and disgusting workout. To help me grow, help me feel better, help me live a life that is even just 1% better than it was yesterday.
My self care?
My biggest one is moving through this training camp for worlds.
No question it is one the hardest things I have ever done in my life. To eat perfectly to get my weight down, to cross train, to do the physio on my elbow (that I hurt at pans, the matches are so intense it's hard to say when it happened, I think I hyperextended while posting), to do yoga, but mostly - the wrestling. The hard rounds. Today I asked myself 'why the hell am I doing this, pushing myself so hard for so many weeks. To my limit every single damn day'. Because, the challenge of this is a form of self-care for me. To battle through the hard rounds, to sit and eat the chicken meals, to prepare my evening for the next day. This challenge keeps me on the right track, no drinking, no eating crap, no distractions. As I am wrestling every day I constantly have to figure out new challenges, faster movements, and smarter ways to do things.
Today isn't just for today, it is for today as much as it is for tomorrow. At the end of the day, I always finish my day to prepare for my future self. I come home, throw all my laundry in the wash, have a healthy dinner, do my yoga and phsyio, and record everything from my day for my personal trainer and coaches. I don't want to do any of these things, but I know if I do I will have a much easier and better day tomorrow. This applies to training as well, I recognize when I am exhausted and when it wouldn't be a good idea to do that last round. When it wouldn't be a good idea to push that extra weight in kettlebells - the concept is to always leave training feeling good. So I can train tomorrow.
People are always shocked when I say I don't watch tv or netflix.I had to ask myself this question, 'is self-care or an escape?' it's an escape. This doesn't make me feel better, it also doesn't help my future self or even present self. It is a way to turn off the world for awhile. I don't need to turn off the world. I need to do yoga to become more connected with myself and my world, I need to read to find out more about my world, I need to do so much more. Same with scrolling social media.
'Is this an escape or self-care?'
For me, finding the difference between these two is very important.
It took me awhile, but I know if feel better after yoga than watching tv, after a walk than a nap, after a healthy meal than wine, the list goes on. And this new understanding of what self-care really is is a constant journey, but it's changing my quality of life in an amazing way.
Sometimes it's slowing down and taking a hike, sometimes it's speeding things up and training more.
Sometimes it's reading in bed with a coffee, and other times it's cleaning the whole house.
Sometimes it's slowing down and sometimes it's speeding up.
Its a balance of both.
It's not always about what I want to do in this exact moment, but what I need to do to help my future self be better, do better, live better. Because I need to win worlds, and if this gives me 1% more chance and it is in my control, I am taking it.
Check out the article below that I really enjoyed: